Full Moon in Virgo

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

For as long as I can remember this has been my definition of love. Its words are simple but most difficult to put into action when other factors like; hurt, disappointment, and even loneliness, are involved. When we insert other things into love’s brew we should expect the flavor to change. Most times we have created something that we have labeled as authentic organic love, when really it’s just some genetically modified shit that does more harm than good. So why change love? Why not accept love for what it is and leave the harmful additives out?
It goes back to conditioning, or learned behavior. Most of us are taught to believe that love must be proven or presented in some package that looks beautiful and amazing. We see these modified versions of love and convince ourselves that love is romance or fairy tales manifesting. Then when we realize that people, and even ourselves, are not perfect when loving others, and our “happily ever after” isn’t how we envisioned, disappointment and even anger results. Then some of us stop believing in love and accuse love of being cruel, unkind, and non-existent. When in truth, the false expectation of what love is and should be, caused your condition, whether it be hurt, anger, loneliness, etc.
I love, love and have been loving people my whole life. I would get so caught up in my belief in love that I was getting my feelings hurt left and right. I’m not talking in just relationships, in many areas of my life family, friends, and boyfriends. I started to question my own belief in love. I mean, I was also taught to treat people how you want to be treated, well doesn’t that include love? I was not being treated as well as I felt I was treating others, so I questioned love. I questioned if I was deserving of love, since I was not receiving it the way I felt I should have. It started to affect my self-esteem and self-worth, I felt broken at one point, like damaged goods. I kept getting the same end result, so it has to be me. Promises of love with no follow-through. Years later, with lots of inner healing, self-discovery and awareness; which included many snot-nosed crying nights, frustration, prayer, deep meditation, and speaking with my inner-child; change happened. I realized it was me, well partially. I was causing my own suffering in this area of my life. My definition of love conflicting with what I was conditioned to believe love is and was attracting conflicting energies. So, I had to let go of my conditioning as it was no longer serving me. I let go of the “happily ever after” fairy tale definition of love I learned through fairy tales and movies. I embraced my truth and my belief in what love is and declared this is how I will operate when loving. 1 Corinthians 13 (the entire chapter) defines, for me, love and loving as a spiritual being living a human experience. I have had good relationships and not so great ones but no matter what the circumstances were of the relationship, I loved them anyway. I loved them when I was hurting, I loved them when I was happy, I love them when I was angry and I love them still after I left them. Love didn’t change. Love remained what it always has been, a positive universal energy that I shared willingly with all I’ve encountered. I give love freely and I receive so much love in return.
I’ve encountered manipulators, abusers, bullies, users, insecurities, betrayal and loss. I have been accused of being naïve and gullible but I’m not and never have been. I’ve always been fully aware of the energy of the people I have in my life and I chose to love them anyway. Despite all of those encounters, I still believe in love. I am grateful for each and every situation I’ve been in when my belief in love has been tested. It has only made my heart stronger and my inner-standing of love greater. And most importantly strengthened my love of self. I am not afraid of love. I have an open heart to truly receive love and that is a blessing. I believe everyone needs, wants and deserves love. There is strength and courage in loving people for who that are at that moment in their journey. There is strength in loving without judgment.
Trust me when I say only good can come from loving others genuinely. It’s like the honey bee that pollinates the flowers, not only does pollination provide nourishment for the bee but it also fertilizes the flowers. Each receives something mutually beneficial, even if the other is unaware of its impact. I refuse to give up on love and I have been single for a while. I know that all the love I have shared, all the seeds I have planted and all the work I’ve willingly put in is blossoming into a beautiful love garden. All in Divine timing with Divine guidance.
Loving is hard when it is functioning from a place of fear. Let go of the fear in your heart. Fear of being hurt, fear of being abandoned, fear of loss or whatever fear you have as it relates to love. Love comes from within you and can never be taken from you, it can only be given. Allow your heart to be free, to love and watch how amazing things will start to happen in your life. Love comes in many forms but it remains the same. Like an apple, no matter the color it’s still an apple.

–Love and Light,
Latavia